From Nipple to Solids

What is it with Canadians and the British Royals?

The recent visit by the eternal Prince Charles and Camilla—Duchess of Wherever, to their favourite colony sparked some vocal and passionate debate in the Canadian media between monarchists on one side and those who believe that it's time for Canada to move from the nipple to solids on the other. Visits from the Mother Ship will always provoke a reaction but for those who think that breast is best, the question they should be asking themselves is—can Charles' son William to do for the Windsors what Christian Bale did for Batman?

It's difficult to dislike Charles—republicans have a soft spot for a guy who is considered eccentric and whacky even by his own kind. He was after all, an active proponent for the Green agenda and environmentally friendly farming in the days when the rest of us thought that the term "free range beef" referred to his brother, Andrew.

And what's with the Commonwealth? It's like hosting a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous in a pub, during happy hour. Or a counselling session for victims of abuse, chaired by the abuser. Snap out of it! The British monarchy is a costume drama—non-democratic and out of touch with even British citizens (or should that be subjects?). The fact that it oversees Canada's democratic institutions saves me the trouble of coming up with a good punch line.